The INFJ Warrior

The INFJ warrior refuses to back down on themselves.

The ultimate truth about who we are begs the question, can we sincerely become a harbinger of power and light all at once?

Yes, but we can also become victims of our own darkness and subdue to being cold-hearted, disheartened by the idea that once all of our light is taken away, we cannot reignite a fire within us.

The INFJ warrior surpasses everything you’ve ever known about being being human. Internally, we aren’t human. We are souls who recognize the ethereal nature of this life and how the veil between the tangible and the spiritual is becoming more apparent every day.

The process through which we are enamored yet conflicted by the difficulties of our emotions and how easily we are able to comfort humanity using language to ease pain we know all too well, gives us this light. That is one of our most useful weapons.

The only problem is that we find ourselves often lost and absorbed in wounds of our past and the possible casualties of our future that we cannot focus on the impact we can make in the present. We have an arsenal of weaponry we can use to our advantage to serve ourselves and others all at once, but we must get out of a dungeon we are trapped in to choose to build an army within ourselves and go outside of our kingdom with others like us to make a difference.

Many INFJ’s I know refuse to find a way out of that prison without realizing the key is within reach with a little bit of a stretch, and it’s quite unfortunate.

Our composition gives us an advantage no other type would want, because it is heavy, yet for us to win our own battles, we only need to use our Ni. Ni coupled with Fe is knowing the blueprint of everyone else, their tactics, their strategies, their behaviors, and the possible outcomes of every battle we engage in.

The INFJ warrior is one with the utmost integrity, the one who sacrifices himself for his comrades, and the ultimate devil’s advocate. Independent, free-spirited, experienced, and isolationist in nature, we more than anyone else know how to stand alone at the foreground of our actions, our truth, and our pain. When we go in, we either live or die trying to fight for our ideals.

Our crusade to make others enlightened and awakened, to save others from harm, and to make the world a better place, many times at our expense, is what makes the INFJ army noble.

The INFJ Warrior is one for the books. Not economically motivated, never bribed, ego-less, and infused with light, we rise and commit ourselves to breaking free from our chains of fear to fulfill our purpose of change.

Why being an INFJ is so difficult

Has it occurred to you that being the rarest type comes with a lot of baggage?

I thought that being bestowed with our cognitive functions could have a lot to offer us as we navigate a world that refuses to look at the world through a lens of foresight.

You see, being an INFJ is as if you’re living in a universe that is all your own. You’re living in multiple universes all at once, looking at 20 million different outcomes to every situation that is going on in your life and it’s not only your own circumstances you’re engaged in, but also everyone else’s. It’s tiring to know that situations you think about, both positive and negative, can be almost lucid to us where we feel pain and loss even if it hasn’t happened.

What kills us is that we know what may happen and refuse to have enough faith in ourselves and others to lock our own happiness into a box that we cannot control because the world takes many twists and turns. Too many times though, after everything is said and done, we knew where those twists and turns would ultimately take us, and all too often, it isn’t anywhere nice or comforting but rather, it is a prison of emotional death.

Before I found out how my brain functioned, I thought I was completely locked into anxiety and depressive cycles of good and bad times. I had absolutely no reasons why to feel his way because I had it all, an amazing childhood, wonderful parents, and all of the attention I could ever want and need. Yet, for some odd reason, here I was, growing up, feeling alone, desperate to be understood, and a perfectionist to a fault. I was always weeding out, cutting people out of my life, and happily doing so confidently first before they decided to do the same and take away a part of my identity along with my secrets. I needed to show people that I was to be respected, by disappearing completely without explanation or contempt. I did this as being the only way I could show them exactly one boundary they could never cross  because I refused to put up any smaller ones on my own during our time together as friends.

So why do people paint out your typical INFJ to be something magical?

There’s power in numbers (or a lack thereof). Being that we are only a solid 1% of souls, others simply look at it as an identifier of uniqueness. If I could choose to be anything else, I would be. If I could have a Te as my first or second function that would be fantastic. I could simply look at everything with objectivity and rationale and figure out how to live my life accordingly to simple principles that lacked any form of absorption. Overanalyzing everything would be pointless.

If only. We see everything that’s coming.

I am not saying that I despise who I am, nor that I hate being an INFJ. I am only stating the obvious. I am simply saying that life would be so much easier in all ways. I would not have to think twice about making friends, whether or not the relationships I am in will last a lifetime, why someone said something, did something, reacted a certain way, made a certain facial expression, who in my life will last another day, and whether or not they are to be trusted.

The burden we carry is one of intuition, of feeling, of sensitivity, of thinking.

Although I have figured out that the cycles I put myself in are now under my control and I manage them very well, I still decide to be a time traveler time and time again because I can’t help it. It’s who I am and I would be depriving myself of my own authenticity if I gave up the same identity that has caused so many people in my life to come and go.

I made the affirmation to take my own hand into the unknown and deal with challenges as they come, unafraid to complicate life and make others question exactly how complacent emotionally they really are.

The INFJ mission is a difficult one and is shared by the very few who regard their own truth as something novel to bring into this world. 

INFJ Relationship Recommendations

A Personal Background: 

As an INFJ I have always been the psychic foreseer of truth. In all of my relationships, since the beginning, I have foretold the beginning of the end, and in most cases, what type of person he will ultimately end up with. In a relationship I ended some time ago, I knew the guy I was with would be a complete disappointment from the beginning, yet I went along with fulfilling his own desires because of the irrational fallacy of thinking he could fill the gaps of my own emotional solitary void through love. Call it a vision, call it common logic, or even tactfulness, and it happened to be the reason why I decided I needed to let go through a definitive door-slam. I had nothing more to say and my energy was expended. I have always been this individual that has tried to project a good sincere reflection of everything I have ever believed in. I work hard, get straight A’s, and have tried to uphold my values to reflect respect and truth, and continuously strive for self improvement on an almost obsessive level. Black and White emotions that translate to extremes are a way of life.

I grew up in a very matriarchal household of strong, independent women who have been through an infinite amount of hardships throughout their years. Both my grandmother and my mother symbolize resiliency, and the obstacles they have surpassed have been rewarded with stability, all done without losing sight of their kindness towards others yet being forceful enough to get their needs met. As ISFJ’s they have taught me balance in relation to their own past experiences, while always motivating and inspiring me to move through life effortlessly without looking back.

I also had a father who in my eyes, epitomized the qualities of what it means to be a man. My father, an ISTP, always knew how to expand his tiny Fe function whenever I needed it most to empathize with me to the best of his ability and never failed. He is a McGyver of sorts, very street smart, always working on cars, motorcycles, taking me to car shows, and figuring out solutions to life’s problems spontaneously.

I have learned valuable lessons from two serious failed relationships.

Special Recommendations for INFJ Relationships and Dating: 

-Our Idealism is a Double Edged Sword: 

It’s ok to Be idealistic: As a starting point, you need to choose someone with that same mentality of selflessness. As INFJ’s we need someone that can love us unconditionally yet is intuitive enough to know that our need for harmony can lead some of our feelings to go unheard of because we want to keep the honeymoon stage as long as possible. People who are kind and receptive do exist.  Do not give up on finding that right combination or settle for any less. Preferably, find someone that can balance your emotions and take you out of them quickly when needed whether that be through them listening to you or taking you out of your brain and into the tangible world.

Secretly, INFJ’s need a Rock of Gibraltar…. 

Yet, know that problems will arise. Idealism is a construct:  Nothing is perfect, and you should see the big picture of a dynamic rather than getting frustrated at details that can take a toll on a relationship if you make them any bigger. In other words, you have to know when you’re overstepping your idealistic bounds. Get your needs met in real time and do not let them go unheard. Make this a priority.

-In Dating, If something doesn’t feel right it probably isn’t… The INFJ is never going to miss out. 

Focus on Patterns: Put your intuition on overdrive and come to a conclusion about a person in accordance to the underlying feelings you get, their nonverbal cues, and concrete facts about the integrity of their character. Do not be afraid to let go of someone if they’re not following through with their word before we become attached and find it really hard to not start excusing their behavior. Our energy is valuable and we cannot afford to go through a cycle of mind games. Use your Ni and your Ti to process the situation for what it is rather than how it feels and leave. 

-Find someone that exhibit certain traits of people you have known for years: 

Make Parallels: INFJ’s love learning. We love researching, writing, reading, spending countless hours taking in the world, and figuring out the best structure of how to best conduct our lives. In interpersonal relationships, we only have a few people who are near and dear to our hearts whom have stood the test of time. Those exact same people have taught us everything from the most basic lessons, to very superficial pursuits of fun, to revolutionary spiritual ideas that we have adopted ourselves to make sense of our experience here. Now write down one trait of each of those people, look at yourself, and ask yourself… how are they a reflection of me… and how am I a reflection of them? After you have a list,  seek someone that brings out those qualities and makes them a part of themselves too. Someone, who can be happily inclined to learn from you and wants to give you a part of themselves that you’re lacking also, but not forcefully. 

-Make Peace with your Paradoxes: 

Black, White and Gray, areas:Get a hold of your thoughts and make sense of them. Good, bad or neutral, you are an inspirational powerhouse capable of motivating people to a degree others are not even aware of. Although you may seem a bit mentally discombobulated, you actually make more sense than most people.. on paper.. and that is alright. Sometimes those black and white areas are necessary to regulate the magnanimity of what is going on. We shut down, we come back, and repeat. Accept yourself for what you are on the inside, on the outside, and even when you think your emotions are a toppling factor to your entire day, know that you’re only (sub) human haha. But seriously though, you’re not alone in this process and when you need to retreat do so and be productive while at it. Whomever is with us needs to know our solitude and affection go hand in hand, our happiness is effusive, our sadness is elusive, we are both detached and intuitive, but conversely..

The most important lesson for INFJ’s in relationships is that it is ok to be mean but never acceptable to be cruel. 

Nasrin

INFJ Systems of Organization: A General Overview

On the Job: We seem to work best in an environment that facilitates an exchange of thoughts where can see emerging patterns in foresight and where we feel we can identify ourselves and others easily.

Memorization: When it comes to memorizing details, a clear visualization is needed/ Using colors ( high liters, leaving notes)

Cleanliness: We can be easily affected by our environment therefore, when maintaining a clean house, it is best to stay focused on small cleaning tasks before a big mess affects us subconsciously. Keep tidiness a priority.

Brainstorming: When jotting down ideas, bullets and numbering helps us accentuate the clarity of our thoughts so they can easily be understood.

Public speaking: Make sure to prepare in advance. Although INFJ’s can wing a speech when they are passionate about a topic, they can easily get emotionally invested in the personal application of the theory rather than the practical aspect of it. Our ideas can be very abstract and dense. Unpack them in advance to stay on track.

Stand your ground: In personal relationships, prepare and organize your needs and wants to reflect your own individuality when you feel you’re making too many concessions towards another person. You will get a sense of fulfillment knowing that you’re not allowing the other person to take you for granted.

INFJ’s and Normalcy: Common Difficulties

Common Difficulties Relating to INFJ’s…. 

– Sense of Detachment– While I continue basing myself on the firm belief that we can relate to others on an almost personal level right away, I continue to stress that our subjectivity to emotion is more than often, one-sided. It is difficult to become part of this world if interpersonal relationships are constantly being weighed upon how much we are able to give and never completely getting the equality we desire. We therefore cannot help but to feel nihilistic about the world around us .

– Cycles of Depression and Anxiety– This is a big one. One moment you can find yourself on a state of happiness, the next you can find yourself being weighed down and overwhelmed by thoughts and their accompanying emotions, magnifying to such a degree at times, that it manages to ruin our day and ruminates until someone or something gives us a dose of rationale. Let the emotions run through you rather than creating an emotional landscape of turmoil by occupying your time with small activities and goals that can diffuse some of that energy to direct itself onto something positive.

– Being Extremely Accommodating-  This needs to stop. I repeat in detail… This Needs to Stop. Stand your ground. We have the tendency to prioritize harmony because we know exactly what people need and want and how others’ emotions can be affected when concessions to their own person aren’t being made in a given situation. You have to realize that you have power in situations of conflict ( more than most) to secure an outcome that benefits you also. We second guess ourselves because we take in so many perspectives, emotions, and see right through patterns of actions. We are so adept at taking on the role of a diplomat, we tend to cave in because we do not want to expend more of our daily energy on trivialities of small petty arguments. Givers need to set limits because takers rarely do and famously for INFJ’s our tendency to want to save the world is seen as an innate limiting weakness. Use your gift of humanitarianism to benefit the overall of society, but know that when it comes to direct interpersonal relationships, the more you convey your thoughts to reflect healthy boundaries, the easier it will be to maintain a dynamic of mutual respect and truth that lasts.

-Sensitivity: I have come to the conclusion that a lot of us ( if not most) are HSP’s ( Highly Sensitive People) and Empaths. It is not surprising to know that this sensitivity comes at a cost to our own health and relationships. The best way to explain it would be to have been born with a  third eye, finely tuned towards emotional intelligence, and an intuitive sense of knowledge that sees right through the intentions and nonverbal patterns of others. Our primary Ni, ( Introverted Intuition), is almost a psychic gift that we developed and continue to perfect to come to conclusions about their inner experience. The catch-22 that goes along with with this primary function is that we can easily get caught up in subtleties rather than seeing the big picture of a circumstance, unless we learn to harness our tertiary Ti ( Introverted Thinking) which can help us think more in depth about our own emotions and apprehensions before conveying it outward.

We will always personify the “Alien” archetype, one of solitude, introversion, wisdom, self-fulfilling prophecies,  and an innate understanding for the world around us. There is nothing wrong with it. The sooner you come to terms with the blessing and curse of your cognitive processes, the easier it will be to harness your own unique strengths and counteract your particular weaknesses to work in your favor. 

To all of my fellow INFJ’s never stop bringing your love and light into this world. You’re on a difficult yet very special mission of transformation to yourself and others.

Nasrin

What Lies Beneath…

In order to harness a simplification of what it means to live an emotionally complex life, I aim to deconstruct the significance of my journey as an empath.

I find it easy to connect with others, somehow live in an extreme reality of depth and perception, and see patterns to the actions of various types of people… I am your typical INFJ.

Disclaimer: You may find my blog to be a bit wordy, complicated or even tedious to follow….

….If you’re still reading beyond the cautionary warning, then congratulations! You’re probably yearning for a sense of understanding to your emotions just as much as I am… or just curious…

Nasrin